Imprisoned by Ratiocination

Disclaimer: Aside from my DVD's, I don't own M*A*S*H. I wish to hell I did cause imagine the money I'd be rakeing in.
Don't expect anything great, this is the first fanfic that I have written on a serious note, so its gonna be a sloooooow proccess... Bare with me people! I've never honestly sat down and written anything serious. I'm better with humour. I should probably warn you though, the H/M part is just on the By the way lines, if it ever happens. I have no idea where I am going with this story. I'm working on it though. Meh ... what ever, I don't even know what I'm talking about which you can probably tell. Ok, so try and enjoy it. You can send me reviews. Or if you want hate mail. Either I will except. Actually, I always ask for hate mail. Cause I enjoy replying :o). Not that I have recieved any yet. Oakies, so read on.

Chapter One

Hawkeye lay still, thoughts flooded his head, questions, with no answers. Where was he? How did he get here? And why did he feel like he'd been run over by a truck? The room was unfamiliar. He tried to call out, no one came. He was alone. It was all too much. His vision blurred and then there was nothing.

"Sir."
Hawkeye awoke with a start, someone was shaking him.
"Go away." He mumbled swinging his arm out and pushing at the person annoying him
"Sir, its time to take your meds."
Hawkeye opened one eye, what the hell was she on about? He wasn't on any medication. He sat up and adjusted his eyes to the light.
"Here." the voice said pushing two small cups in his face.
He looked around the room, it was unfamiliar. This wasn't the swamp! Where was he?
"Sir!"
The lady was getting impatient now.
He took the two tiny cups from her. She could see he was confused.
"Would you like me to get the doctor for you?" she asked
Hawkeye raised one eyebrow and gave her a very suspicious look.
"Why would I need a doctor?" he thought "I am a doctor!"
"Take your meds please, and I'll go fetch the doctor for you." She ordered
He looked into the cup. In the bottom sat two tiny round pills, one blue and one white. He couldn't work out what they were, he'd never seen any of them at the 4077th.
"Swallow them sir." She put her hands on her hips
He reluctantly tipped the contents of the cup into his mouth followed by the other cup which was full of water.
"Open up." She said
He opened his mouth.
Satisfied that he had swallowed his medication she took the cups, walked out and locked the door behind her.

Hawkeye stood up and walked over to the window. Yes, he was still in the army. Everyone outside was wearing fatigues. He tried to think back. The last memory he had, was at the 4077th in Post Op. Everything after that was hazy. He tapped his head against the window, it wasn't glass, it was plastic. Where the hell was he? His thoughts were interrupted by the click of the door. He turned to see who was entering.
"Hey there Hawk, nice to see you back with us."
It was Sidney Freedman the psychiatrist.
Hawkeye looked shocked, which Sidney noticed immediantly
"So, how are you feeling today?" He asked
Hawkeye stared blankly at him, trying to process what was going on.
"The nurse said you wanted to see me." he continued
Hawkeye sat back down on the bed and stared at him out of the corner of his eye. He didn't like how things were turning out, he didn't understand what was going on and he didn't know why Sidney was sitting infront of him!
"Are you going to speak to me or shall we start a game of charades?"
Hawkeye opened his mouth to speak, he had a real good joke to plant on him. But nothing came out. He couldn't force the words out! He smacked a clenched fist down on the bunk in frustration.
"Easy there, those beds arn't all that strong." Sidney joked
He walked over to Hawkeye and sat next to him.
"Do you know why you're here?" he asked
Hawkeye shook his head.
"Do you know where you are?"
He shook his head again.
"You remember who you are don't you?"
He nodded, it was the only thing he was sure of right now.
"Ok, well. You get some rest. We'll talk about this later."
Sidney patted him on the shoulder and got up to leave. Hawkeye grabbed his arm. His eyes filled with tears, he didn't want to be left alone. Not now, not in this place.
"Easy Hawk, I'll be back. I have other patients too see."
"Other patients?" He thought to himself still grasping ahold of Sidneys arm firmly
Sidney tried to pull out of his grip, but Hawkeye wouldn't budge. He kept ahold and stared straight ahead, he wasn't all there.
"NURSE!" Sidney called
A lady hurried down the hall, Hawkeye could hear her foot steps in the back of his mind.
She entered the room.
"I need some sedation here." Sidney said
The nurse nodded and hurried off.
The word sedation struck hard in Hawkeyes mind. It bought him back to reality. He made eye contact with Sidney, they were filled with pain and fear.
"You need some rest, this is for the best." Sidney explained calmly trying not to scare him anymore than he already was
Hawkeye gave him a very unfriendly look, he wasn't feeling much like Sidney was a friend right now.
The nurse returned, needle in hand.
Hawkeyes eyes widened, he released Sidneys arm and backed into the corner as far away as possible.
"Its ok Hawk." Sidney assured "You've done this a million times, its not going to hurt."
With great difficulty the nurse managed to sedate him. Everything went dark. He felt Sidney and the nurse pull him down on to his back. They proped the pillow under his head and then, once again. There was nothing.

Sidney walked up to the secretary's station.
"Get me Colonel Potter at the 4077th M*A*S*H on the phone." He said The lady nodded and began messing around with wires and switches.

"4077th M*A*S*H, corporal O'reilly speaking." The voice on the other end of the phone announced
"One moment for Major Freedman." The lady said handing Sidney the phone
"Hi there." Sidney said cheerily
"Oh hi Major." replied Radar
"Is Colonel Potter in?"
"Ah yes sir, one moment sir."
Radar patched the call through to the Colonels office and headed in to inform him of the call.
"Major Freedman on the phone for you sir." he said picking up the receiver and handing it over
"Thankyou corporal."
Potter took the phone in his hand and waited for Radar to leave, then he answered.
"Sidney, Colonel Potter. Whats the news?"
"Well." Sidney began "I'd like to report good news, but I can't."
"You'd best get it out then."
"He has no recollection of why hes here, or where he is."
"I was affraid of that." Potter sighed
"I think he feels very alone. Maybe a familiar face might help him."
"Like Hunnicutt? Do you think that'll help?"
"Its worth a try."
"He'll be down." Potter assured as he hung up the phone

Colonel Potter entered The Swamp, he had checked up on the fighting in the area. Fortunantly there was very little and they could spare another doctor. He glanced around. It was depressing. Hawkeyes robe lay across his bunk, on the floor was the cowboy hat he would ware. Then, there was the still. He shifted the robe to one side and sat on the edge of the cot rubbing his forehead.

BJ felt someones presence in the room, Hawkeye had been gone for acouple of days now. He removed the covers from his face and sat up.
"You alright Colonel? You look a little distant." BJ asked still half asleep
Potter took a deep breath and stared down at the floor.
"I just got off the phone with Sidney Freedman."
"Is Hawkeye coming back?" BJ perked up
"No. Sidney wants me to send you down, thinks you can help him out."
"Sure Colonel!" BJ hurried out of bed to put his boots on
"You wanna do this? Hawkeyes not quite himself you know."
"How could I not Colonel? Hawks my best friend. He'd do anything for me. What kind of a friend would I be if I left him high and dry. If Sidney thinks it'll help, I'll do it."
Potter nodded and stood up, he understood exactly what BJ ment "I'll have a jeep waiting, be carefull out there. I know the fightings shifted, but still."
BJ smiled as he pulled his jacket on "I'll be fine daddy, I'm a big boy." he assured
"I know you will." Colonel Potter replied sympathetically "I'm just concerned thats all… Tell him I said hi."

BJ rushed out the door of The Swamp, he couldn't wait to see Hawkeye. The place just wasn't the same without him. It was no fun picking on Charles, OR was alot more tense, and the Gin just didn't taste right.
He was met by Radar who was sitting in the drivers seat.
"Are you my driver young sir?" BJ asked getting in the passengers side
"Colonel Potter told me to drive you."
"Very well, drive on James." BJ joked
"What?"
"Never mind, just drive Radar."
Radar shrugged and steped on the gas. The jeep Shuddered forcing BJ back into his seat and then they were off.

As they drove down the bumpy winding road BJ began to think. Colonel Potters words kept harping on at him. What if it was disturbing? What if Hawkeye didn't remember him? What if he never got well? BJ was worried. Hawkeye was his best friend, he didn't know what he would have done if he hadn't found him in this place. His thoughts were disrupted by young Corporal O'reilly.
"Sir." He said
"Yes Radar?"
"Do you think that Hawkeyes gonna be ok?"
BJ didn't have an answer for Radar, he knew he looked up to him, so he couldn't say no. But did he really belive that?
Radar took his eyes off the road for a moment and stared, awaiting a reply. "Sir?"
"Well, I don't really know." He finally responded "But I'd like to think so Radar." Everyone was worried about Hawkeye. Even Charles. Although he didn't like to make it public, but they knew.
They endured a long silence. Things seemed miles away in their minds. Hawkeye was a great friend to all, and if he could snap, heck, anyone could!
"How far have we got to go?" BJ asked at long last braking the lull
"Oh, afew more miles to go sir."
He was getting impatient. It seemed like it was taking a life time just to get there.

Hawkeye had been out cold for afew hours now, Sidney had been checking up on him from time to time. He was eager to talk now that he had some free time on his hands. There was a window in the door, Sidney gazed through it. Hawkeye was begining to stir now. He unlocked the lock and walked in quietly closing the door behind and sat down on a chair across the other side of the room. He pulled out a file and began to study it, not noticeing Hawkeye opening his eyes.

Hawkeye blinked his eyelids. He was still noticeably grogey and couldn't quite focus in on anything. However he was concious enough to know that he was staring up at the roof. His mind was blank, nothing of real interest was flowing through it. He moved his head to the side and made a groaning sound, capturing Sidneys attention.
"Welcome back to reality." Sidney said closing the file
Hawkeye squinted trying to focus in on the figure.
"Not quite awake yet? Thats ok. Take your time." Sidney advised leaning back in the chair
He gave out another groan and moved his attention back to the ceiling.
"Who is this voice I'm hearing?" He thought to himself
The events of that day began to unfold in his mind. He open his eyes wide and attempted to sit up.
"Don't get up on my account." Sidney told "I'm used to talking to people lieing down."
Hawkeye slowly but steadily proped himself up against the wall.
"Sidney?" He asked taking a wild guess at who it was
"The one and only."
"Where is..."
Hawkeye couldn't get much out, he slid down the wall and landed on his side, he felt so drained. He was slowly coming around, but he wished it would happen alot faster. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, so many answers he needed to know. Hawkeye listened to everything going on around him, hoping to get answers ahead of time. There was a knock at the door. It was only a light knock, a knock of a woman. Yes, he'd recognise that anywhere.
"Major Freedman?" the lady said creaking the door open
"Yes?"
Sidney stood up and walked over to the nurse, she was hanging half in the door way and half out.
"There’s two people out here to see you. Say you called for them?"
"Yes, send them down."
She nodded and quietly shut the door behind her.
"Hawkeye. Can you hear me?" Sidney projected his voice clearly
Hawkeye moved his hand up off the bed and put his thumb up. It was such an effort.
"You've got visitors. Do you want me to let them in now, or wait till you're awake?"
He got no reply for a moment. Then, the thumb came up again.
No sooner had his hand hit the bunk, when the door opened and in walked two people. Radar and BJ.
Radar stood in the background, he took off his cap and held it at chest height. Hawkeye looked bad, real bad. His flesh was so pale, he almost looked dead. "Hows he holding up Sidney?" BJ questioned staring at his friend "We had to sedate him earlier. But hes coming round now." Sidney explained "I'm hoping maybe you can get him to remember somthing."
"I'll try." BJ nodded
"Ok, well, I'll be in my office if you need me."
Sidney walked out leaving Radar and BJ waiting for Hawkeye to wake.