Frank

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Major, USAMC: Frank "Ferrit Face" Burns ~
Serial Number: ER61109398

Frank Burns ... Ferrit face, fink and wuss. Frank has been called many names. All of them deserving too. Frank is a very patriotic soul, sometimes he takes it a bit too far though. He dosn't know how to play nice with others (which Henry threatened to put in his file once) and is a major pain.
Frank has always wanted to take over the 4077th. But when ever he had the slightest bit of authority he ran a mile with it and took it to the extent.
Where ever Frank goes, no matter who he meets, he always makes himself hated without even trying. (Poor bugger, ya gotta feel sorry for him at lease a little bit.)

Frank is from Fort Wayne, Indiana, he has a private practice, 30 thousand dollar house and 2 cars. He has a wife, Louise and 3 daughters. Frank is such a momma boy and keeps his mothers picture in a silver frame to the left of his bed. Frank mentions a brother, who gave him the nick name "Ferrit Face". His father only pretended to like him and took away his night light. Said it was dark 12 hours of every day and he wouldn't put up with a son that was a coward half the time.

He bunked with Trapper and Hawkeye in the Swamp during the earlier seaons. In the later season it was BJ and Hawkeye. But no matter who he bunked with, he always found an egg in his helmet,a mochery of his patriotizm and a joke about his bad doctoring. Frank wasn't a bad doctor, he just didn't put his heart into it. He was clearly in it for the money.
During Medschool Frank had to cheat on his test. He failed 2 times and even thought about being a nurse, but couldn't make a hospital corner. Frank would get presents and christmas cards from the mortion.

Frank was having an affair with Margaret, but when she got engaged to Lt Col. Donald Penobscott it was over. Frank no longer had a friend at the 4077th. But he held onto the hope that Margarets engagement would be broken.
When Margaret married Donald, Frank lost it. Colonel Potter sent him on R&R. When he did not return on time Radar and Potter grew worried. He was usually so punctual.
Over the next few days the 4077th was regailed with Franks latest sighting. The M.P's couldn't seem to catch him, he was a terror to all blonde Margaret look-a-likes. When the M.P's finally caught up with him, he was held for pschiatric observation ... and then, he would be transfered stateside to work at a Veterans' hospital in his home town and premoted to Lieutentant Colonel. (Isn't that just the way of the army.)
~Frank: "Oh you guys!"